Ever since I had Adelle, it has really made me contemplate babies, mothers, and everything in between. I worked as a nanny for 15 years and I worked mostly with young infants. I always wondered how I would change after having my own children, and I just wanted to share some of these thoughts.
When Adelle was born, she cried a lot. Most of the time I wasn't sure why. She was fed, warm, had a clean diaper on, and was being coddled and loved by me. She would cry when I changed her diaper or her clothes were being changed, and this broke my heart. I wanted so bad to show her how much I loved her by doing these things and "taking care of her", but she cried all the same. I saw for the first time how hard it is having a body. This little body is new to her, and there's so much about it that she doesn't understand. I wanted to cry along with her, how do you help these little spirits to understand that we do these things because we love them? That these bodies are their friends? I struggled with this. But isn't this exactly how our Heavenly Parents must feel? Watching us go through hard times, knowing that we don't understand why this pain is being inflicted on us but also knowing it's for our own good, because they love us?
It occurred to me more than every before how incredibly vulnerable and helpless babies are. I know this seems obvious, but I felt it in a whole new way. I felt impressed that Heavenly Father would entrust me with this little spirit inhabiting a new little body. That she could do nothing for herself except for cry to alarm me of her trouble. Whatever happens to this little spirit is up to me, and to her father. I am so in Ah at the Mothers throughout time that have sacrificed and loved so much for their little ones. It makes my heart ache with gratitude for them, I want to shout out to the world my thanks for their loving their own children. It is such a blessing entrusted to Women, and I understand it in a way different than I had before. I feel the importance and amazement, and I am so grateful that I have been given the ability to either succeed or fail.
Thank you Mom for your love, tenderness and time. Thank you Mothers everywhere for continuing the human race out of pain sweat and tears. Thank you for helping these little spirits become accustomed to their little bodies. For helping them learn to enjoy their bodies, for not stopping at their tears and continuing to show that love in all ways possible.
5 days ago